Sunday, February 28, 2010


Three years ago tomorrow, I got a call in the middle of the night from a family member in Illinois. My mother had died.

I made a hysterical phone call to my dad to let him know. Screaming at him "You have to be a good dad now, you're all I have left." And you know what, he has really stepped up to the plate. I think that in the years he wasn't really there for me it wasn't because he didn't want to be, it was just that he didn't know how to be.

So much of my life has happened since hers stopped.

I got the courage to quit a job that wasn't the right fit for me.

I got married.

I got a new job.

I got a promotion/new position with in the company.

I had a baby.

These are big things. And for a long time I thought she missed them.

But then, the other day I was looking through photographs I had taken of Malone in January.

And I came across this one.

If you look right by Malone's hand, you can see an orb. Believe what you will, but I believe this is my mom. If you look at Malone, he's interacting directly.

3/1/10 has snuck up on me. But oddly I feel okay about it. Last year I was a hot mess. This year, I feel at peace.

Besides, I've got a little guy who keeps me busy being his mom.

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